


Buyer's Remorse

by visionshadows



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M, slight D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-03
Updated: 2003-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/visionshadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack, Paul, a belt, and control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buyer's Remorse

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

   
  
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**Buyer's Remorse**   
_"when i said sweet i meant dirty" _

Paul unlocked the door to his apartment, his body and mind still thrumming from the long build-up of tension over the past few days. Between preparing to reveal the Stargate project to the major world leaders and the actual reveal, he hadn't been home for awhile. He wasn't even sure if he had clean laundry or milk.

And of course things hadn't gone as planned because of Kinsey. Thanks to Thor though, everything was under control. He was loathe to think of the consequences if Thor didn't have a vested interest in Jack O'Neill.

"You look pleased with yourself, Major."

Paul finished hanging up his overcoat before turning towards the familiar voice, welcome yet not at the same time. Jack was sitting on the couch with a beer hanging from his fingers, dripping condensation on the fabric of his khakis. Paul knew Jack wouldn't get it on the couch. He was smarter than that.

"I'm sure you heard the news already," Paul said as he walked over to the couch, feeling Jack's eyes following the sway of his hips. Paul plucked the bottle of beer from Jack's fingers, taking a long drink before returning the bottle to Jack. "It's a damn good thing Thor likes you."

"I always knew the little grey guy would have my back." Jack set the beer on the coffee table before turning to Paul, a hand firm on Paul's lapel. He leaned close, his breath warm against Paul's cheek. "I didn't fly from Colorado to talk to you, Major."

"You never stop by just to talk, Colonel," Paul pushed Jack back against the arm of the couch, reversing their positions. Jack went easily though he outweighed Paul by at least twenty pounds. Paul straddled Jack's legs, pinning him down with hands on his shoulders. "What are you here for?"

"You know why I'm here." Jack pushed up against Paul's hands, trying to kiss him, but Paul held him down. Paul leaned in close, his lips brushing Jack's ear. "I want you to say it."

"I'm here for you to fuck me … " Jack mumbled, closing his eyes in embarrassment, "Paul."

"And?"

Jack shifted underneath him. "I don't want to say it. You know why I'm here and what I want."

Paul twisted the collar of Jack's shirt, forcing the fabric to bite into the soft skin of Jack's neck. "I want to hear you say it, Jack."

Jack sighed heavily, his dick hardening in his pants at the same time. "I want you to tie me up and fuck me."

"Well then," Paul climbed off Jack, his hand still fisted in Jack's shirt. "Let's go."

Jack stood up quickly, stumbling a little as he tripped on the edge of the rug, righting himself before Paul's grip cut off his air supply. He knew his way around Paul's apartment just fine, but also knew better than to suggest Paul let go of him.

Paul pushed open the bedroom door, leading Jack into the room. He let go of Jack's collar, trailing a finger over Jack's cheek before dropping his hand and smiling at him sweetly. Jack shivered at the sight, knowing that behind that sweet smile lurked a sex god. Of course he could never tell anyone that Major Paul Davis was a sex god. No one would believe him anyway.

"When did you fly out?" asked Paul as he unbuttoned Jack's shirt.

"I left as soon as General Hammond got back," Jack said, lifting his hands and loosening Paul's tie. "I've been waiting for a few hours."

"So you just made yourself at home," Paul said and pushed Jack's shirt off his shoulders, trapping his wrists in the fabric. "Jack, Jack, Jack."

Jack pushed forward, catching Paul off-guard and kissing him roughly. Paul grabbed the back of Jack's neck, his short fingernails digging into tender flesh as they kissed. Jack began to guide Paul towards the bed never stopping the pressure on Paul's mouth.

Paul bit down on Jack's lower lip to stop their movements. "Not yet, Jack. Patience."

Jack groaned a little. "I hate patience. Can't we just fuck like bunnies and then be patient?"

Paul knelt before Jack, unbuttoning and unzipping his khakis deftly. Paul chuckled at the fact Jack wasn't wearing any underwear. The good colonel always came prepared.

"Nice salute," Paul grinned up at him, trailing his fingertips lightly over the hot flesh. "It almost seems like you missed me."

"And if I did?"

"That's your business," Paul said easily, his nails trailing down the back of Jack's thighs. "But I would hope you're not that stupid."

"Shut up and suck me," Jack ordered, momentarily forgetting that he was with Paul and not Daniel. He was reminded by a sharp bite to his left thigh. "Ow. Fucker."

"I hope you're not going to start telling me what to do," Paul said, leaning back on his heels and looking up at Jack, his eyes flashing with annoyance. "Because I can stop right now."

"Do I have to order you to suck me?" asked Jack, licking his lips. Part of him really liked the idea of ordering Paul to suck him. Okay, all of him really liked it, but he knew that Paul wouldn't listen. As a matter of fact, Paul was getting up and walking away.

"Okay, okay," Jack said trying to kick off his pants as he walked over to Paul. "I take it back. Never mind. No orders."

Paul turned to Jack, his gaze steely. "On the bed, Colonel."

Jack shuddered at Paul's tone of voice. He just stood there, naked with his shirt tangled around his wrists. Sometimes, it was more fun to disobey Paul. "

Jack," Paul walked over to him casually. He trailed a finger down the center of Jack's chest, looking him in the eye. "What are you doing?"

Jack coughed softly and looked down at his dick and then back up at Paul imploringly.

"Oh, I don't think we'll be doing that," Paul said, reaching down to take off Jack's shirt. "Something tells me that you're not going to behave tonight."

"You like it better when I don't listen," Jack reminded him. "It makes our time together more … normal."

"True," Paul ran his hands down Jack's chest again, resting them on his stomach. "Gaining a little weight, Colonel?"

"Hardly," Jack said dryly. "I don't have time to gain weight running around planets and chasing Anubis."

Paul's eyes softened momentarily and he rested his cheek against Jack's, "You never did gain back the weight you lost when you were captured by Baal."

"Dying repeatedly will make a person lose a little weight," Jack said quietly, reaching for one of Paul's hands and pressing it to his lips. The expression in Paul's eyes was guarded as he watched Jack kiss his hand. "Enough of this shit. I didn't come here to talk about the past."

"No," Paul pulled back, touching a fingertip to Jack's lips tenderly. A split-second later, Jack found himself on his back, sprawled across the bed with Paul looking down at him, back in control again. "You came here to be fucked because you don't know how to ask anyone else but me to let you lose control."

Jack's dick bobbed against his stomach, a silent answer to Paul's words. He watched as Paul slowly unbuttoned his own shirt, revealing a white undershirt. Jack shuddered slightly and shifted, letting a hand slip down to caress his dick.

"Oh no you don't," Paul grabbed Jack's wrist and twisted it back, pressing it hard against the mattress. "You know the rules."

Jack didn't answer, just brought his other hand down to touch himself in defiance of Paul's words. With a low growl, Paul wrenched Jack's other wrist away, leaning in close and staring Jack down.

"Why must you persist in disobeying even the simplest of orders?" Paul licked a slow path from Jack's temple to his cheekbone and around to his lips. "Had you been this disobedient when you were a lowly private, you never would have made colonel."

"I disobey General Hammond all the time," Jack said in retaliation, his body tensing under Paul's firm hands. "Why should I treat you differently?"

"Unless General Hammond strips you naked and ties you to his bed on a semi-regular basis, I think I deserve different treatment from you."

Jack winced and his dick deflated slightly at the image of doing that with General Hammond. Paul chuckled and let go of Jack's wrists. He backed away again and continued to unbutton his shirt.

"I'm going to take that response as a no," Paul said, finally taking off his shirt and lying it across the back of a chair. "Now Colonel, what are you looking for tonight? Something soft across your skin, or maybe the bite of metal?" Paul fingered the thin leather belt and looked at Jack evenly.

Jack's eyes flicked down to the belt and he moved up on the bed, positioning his hands above his head, wrists crossed. He closed his eyes, anticipation making his body tremble. A moment later, he felt the dip in the bed and the leather wrap around his wrists, binding them together. The muscles in his shoulders pulled as Paul tightened the belt around the headboard.

Jack opened his eyes again when Paul got off the bed. He turned to look at Paul, watching as he continued to strip out of his clothes, only half-paying attention though. Sitting behind Paul on the dresser was a familiar figure in a white sweater and khakis. Daniel put a finger to his lips and disappeared again.

"Jack?" Paul questioned softly. He shivered slightly in the suddenly cold air. He looked around, searching for someone he knew couldn't be there. He shook his head once and climbed on the bed, looking down at Jack tied and waiting for him.

"Yeah," Jack answered just as softly. He knew that Paul had been visited as well in the past, but it always unsettled him. Neither of them talked about it beyond brief acknowledgments. Jack wondered if Sam or Teal'c had been visited yet or if Daniel was confining his intrusions to former sex partners.

Paul straddled Jack's torso, leaning down to kiss him again, banishing thoughts of Daniel and old pains away. Jack kissed back eagerly as Paul's hands cupped his jaw firmly. A sharp nip to Jack's lower lip and Paul moved down, trailing his tongue and lips over softening skin under Jack's chin. He tasted sweat and musk, old cologne that Jack had worn for years.

Jack held himself steady, not allowing any shudders or trembles to pass through his body no matter how good Paul made him feel. The longer he held out, the longer Paul would keep it up and sometimes, like now, Jack just wanted Paul to touch him forever, to make him feel loved again.

Paul traced old scars and firm muscles, licking the underside of Jack's arm and biting down lightly on the inside of Jack's elbow, earning a sharp jerk - finally a reaction that he could see - and a hiss. He went back to trailing fingers and lips over the soft, tender skin. He kissed below the leather binds before taking one of Jack's fingers in his mouth and sucking lightly.

Jack's head was arched back in an attempt to watch Paul's expression, the hard planes of Paul's body hovering above him, blocking his view. All he could see were small, tight nipples, whorls of wiry chest hair and that pale skin that he knew tasted like apples and cinnamon. Jack couldn't help but shudder as Paul began the process again on his other arm.

Paul's fingers brushed underneath Jack's eyes and collected the moisture there, wiping it on the mattress. They never spoke of the tears that occasionally appeared while Jack was tied down. Paul wasn't sure if he wanted to know what made Jack cry. Instead, he moved on to Jack's collarbone, slowly peppering the skin with kisses as his hands ran down Jack's sides and felt ribs and strong muscle as Jack arched into the touch.

Tonight the path Paul took down Jack's body was slow and rambling as he paused at every scar and scratch to place lips against the marred flesh and breathe. It was a type of worship that Jack was never allowed to repeat on Paul's body. He knew not to ask why. Daniel taught him that long ago.

When Paul finished his current exploration and his hands rested on Jack's trembling thighs, Jack opened his eyes again and looked at him. Paul's expression was tender enough to make Jack feel overly exposed. Paul shifted, his eyes shuttering his emotions and he looked away.

Paul leaned forward and rested his fingers, curved on Jack's sides. "I'm not done with you yet."

"I hope not," Jack licked dry lips and arched suddenly, a cry forced from his lips as Paul raked his nails across sensitive skin. "Paul!"

Lips immediately covered his own and Paul kept touching him with those sharp nails, making him twist and beg for more. Paul settled low on Jack's stomach, his knees close to Jack's armpits as he leaned down to bite an earlobe.

"I could leave you here like this," Paul whispered, his voice harsh in Jack's ear. "Tied up and wanting. No one knows you're here. It would be days before someone found you."

Jack knew that wasn't true. If he didn't check in every 24 hours Hammond would send out the troops, but he didn't really care about the reality of the situation right now with Paul a heavy weight above him and his shoulders aching so beautifully.

"You could be my little pet Colonel," Paul shifted his weight as he moved to rest between Jack's legs. His voice shook slightly at the idea of keeping Jack forever. "Never have any control again. Always do what I say. What do you think, Jack?"

"You talk too much," Jack choked out as Paul slid a finger into him. "Christ!"

"Interestingly enough," Paul said, his tone becoming casually conversational. "None of the Goa'ulds have tried to appropriate that particular religious figure."

Jack groaned and rested his forehead against his exposed tricep. "You're killing me here."

"No, Jack, I'm not," Paul slid a second finger in and worked the two deep. "There's a big difference between sex and death."

"Orgasms are little deaths," Jack shut his eyes as he pushed back against Paul's fingers. "Normality versus pathology."

Paul paused and looked down at Jack. "Freud … and Daniel."

Jack turned his head to the side, his eyes still closed. "We're so fucked up."

"It's the nature of our lives," Paul said softly and pushed up with his fingers, watching Jack gasp. "All we did was lose the buffer between us, Jack."

Jack turned his face towards Paul, his eyes flashing. "We lost more than a buffer, Paul. We lost a person."

"Shhh," Paul leaned over, his free hand on Jack's cheek. "That's not what I meant and you know it. Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"Will we do it later?"

Paul kissed him softly, his tongue licking at Jack's lower lip. "Yeah. We can talk later."

Jack sighed and parted his lips to kiss Paul deeply. He strained up against the belt, trying to get Paul to touch him again. Paul laughed against his lips and pulled back, smirking.

"You're so easy, Jack."

Jack snorted and kneed Paul in the hip as best he could. "I'm not easy. I'm cheap. There's a difference."

Paul smacked Jack's side hard. "Don't kick me. I'll walk away right now."

"No you won't," Jack said confidently. "You're just as hard up as I am and it's been ages since we've fucked."

Paul leaned in close, his lips by Jack's ear. "Who says that you're the only one I'm fucking?"

Jack turned his head to whisper in Paul's ear. "Because I have keys to your apartment and know how to turn off the surveillance equipment the NID has hidden all over."

Paul didn't answer him; he didn't have to. Instead he slid his hand down Jack's body to stroke Jack's dick slowly and steadily as he reached for an almost empty container of Astroglide with his free hand. He let go of Jack's dick and drizzled lube over his fingers, keeping his eyes on Jack's face.

"You're a tease."

"Am I going to have to gag you?" asked Paul, carefully closing the lube and setting it on the bedside dresser where it would be within reach when he needed it again.

"You like it when I talk," Jack said as he shifted on the bed. "And you love the little noises I make when you fuck me."

"Yes, but your constant chatting is quite annoying," Paul said as he slide three fingers into Jack. "For once I'd like someone in my bed who knows how to shut up when I've got my fingers in their ass."

Jack gasped and pushed up, his hips rising from the bed as Paul kept talking. He made a garbled sound that was supposed to be 'shut up' but it came out as 'harder' instead. Jack gave up trying to talk. He knew that was Paul's goal and now he'd been effectively gagged until Paul let him gain a little bit of control again. If he let him gain control again.

"I have such buyer's remorse when it comes to you, Colonel," Paul said coolly as his fingers stretched and twisted inside of Jack, his other hand stroking Jack's dick using a firm motion that drove Jack crazy. "Such a sexy package for an utterly annoying individual whom I have no choice but to take orders from. And you are always a complete prick when you order me around. Sometimes I think you like to boss me around at work because you are constantly giving up your control to me in the bedroom," Paul paused in his monologue and looked down at Jack who was worrying his lip harshly between his teeth. "Careful or you're going to bite open your lip."

Jack pried his teeth from his lip by sheer force of will. Paul certainly wasn't slowing down or allowing Jack a chance to catch his breath between the fingers in his ass and the hand on his dick. He licked at his wounded lip and whimpered.

"Ah yes," Paul let go of Jack's dick and reached for the Astroglide again. "We've moved onto the whimpering stage of the evening. Tell me, Jack, do you want me to fuck you now or should I just keep doing what I'm doing until I come and then jerk off on you?"

"F…fuck me," Jack managed to get out just as Paul curved his fingers and brushed them against his prostate, his power of speech gone again. He cried out and closed his eyes, pressing his face into his own tricep.

Soft fingers rested against his chin, turning his face back towards Paul. "Look at me, Jack," Paul said softly, both of his hands resting on Jack's spread thighs. He smiled at him and tapped against Jack's thighs. "Don't look away."

Jack nodded quickly as he strained against the belt, desperate to hold onto Paul. He wasn't going to get a chance to though, not until it was over and Paul saw fit to release him. Somewhere in the back of his mind - and Paul's as well - he knew that the belt was no real challenge if he really felt the need to escape. He didn't want to escape. He needed this. They both did.

Paul pushed Jack's thighs apart further and settled between them. He guided his dick to Jack's ass, dropping his gaze to check just once before looking back at Jack's face, pushing forward at the same time.

They both gasped at the sharp wave of pleasure for both of them. Jack wrapped his fingers around the belt, holding on tight as he lifted his hips to better accommodate Paul.

Paul held himself steady once he was all the way inside, relishing in the sensation of being inside of a man again - inside of Jack again. It was always such a thrill to look down and see that he was buried inside of Jack, someone he never thought he would see beneath him. He had Daniel to thank for that and as always, he offered him a silent prayer for bringing Jack to him long ago.

"Fucking move already." Jack grunted from underneath him as he wrapped his long legs around Paul's waist. He clenched and glared at Paul as Paul let out a choked cry and smacked Jack's hip again to get him to stop. Jack ignored the warning.

"Fucking bastard," Paul spit out as he reached for Jack's dick to squeeze it in a vise grip while twisting a nipple viciously. "Stop."

Jack yelped at the unexpected pain that most definitely did not land on the pleasure side and stopped clenching, his back relaxing against the mattress again. He continued to glare at Paul, but appreciated when Paul rubbed his fingers gently against Jack's wounded nipple.

"How long have we been doing this?" asked Paul, his hands resting on either side of Jack's body as he leaned in close, inches from Jack's face. He had a small smile on his face, indecipherable to most people, but Jack knew that smile meant his was content.

"Having sex tonight or having sex in general?" Jack fought to keep himself from trying to kiss Paul since he was so close.

"In general."

"Two years," said Jack easily. "Though it feels like we've been having sex for at least two years tonight because you won't fucking get on with it."

Paul reached up and covered Jack's mouth with his palm as he twisted his hips. A strangled groan rose from under Paul's hand and Jack trembled.

"You should know by now that trying to speed me up will not work," Paul said as his lips brushed Jack's ear. "I'll just stop completely."

Jack mumbled something against Paul's hand and shifted slightly underneath him. His moan was muffled when Paul rolled his hips again, Jack's dick trapped between their bodies.

"Do you have something to say?" asked Paul coyly.

Jack nodded and licked his lips when Paul moved his hand away. "You won't stop. You like this too much."

Paul sighed and covered his mouth again, rolling his eyes. He straightened up, keeping his hand firmly over Jack's mouth and began to thrust slowly, lazily. Jack smartly kept his eyes locked with Paul's and rolled his hips in time with the slow thrusts.

"Feeling flexible tonight, Colonel?"

Jack blinked twice and tugged on the belt, working his mouth against the restraining hand. A moment later, the hand was gone and Paul was pushing Jack's knees up by his ears. Jack gasped and wriggled to get more comfortable, waiting impatiently for Paul to enter him again.

Paul grabbed a pillow and shoved it under Jack's back for support. He liked the idea of using Jack's body for his own pleasure, but he didn't like the idea of causing Jack excessive pain. There was no telling how Jack would get back at him the next time he was at the SGC if Paul stepped too far over the line.

Jack moaned as Paul entered him again, his legs resting on Paul's shoulders now. A firm hand cupped his cheek and forced Jack to look back at Paul. This was what it was about anyway - fucking and a symbolic lack of control.

Paul moved slowly and deeply, his eyes fluttering shut. He let out a low moan, leaning down to kiss Jack's lips lightly, brushing his thumb along Jack's brow with each kiss.

"Paul," Jack whispered, wishing he had use of his hands. He wanted to pull Paul closer, deeper, harder. "More."

Paul kept up the steady fucking as he opened his eyes to look at Jack again, his hand fisted in the bed sheets. "Yeah?"

Jack nodded and clenched around Paul, forcing a reedy moan and a 'fuck' out of the other man. He smirked and licked his lips again. There was nothing like making Paul lose control while tied to a bed.

"Prick," Paul leaned over to kiss Jack roughly before deepening the kiss and thrusting in hard. He pulled back and rested his elbows on the mattress. He gave Jack a smirk and began to move faster and deeper. "Is that what you want?"

Jack smirked back at Paul, his fingers gripping the leather again. Paul just laughed and kept moving, completely ignoring Jack's dick. They didn't say anything for a long time, the only sounds in the room the headboard banging against the wall and harsh breathing.

Finally, Paul pulled back and let Jack's legs drop down to his waist again and slowed his thrusts for a moment. He slid a hand down Jack's stomach and grasped the leaking dick. Jack moaned and arched up, straining against the belt.

Paul was trembling with the effort to hold on just a bit longer. He wanted Jack to come first, wanted to watch him let it all go and finally lose control. He needed to believe he could give Jack that. Jack was close, he could tell by the way Jack's fingers were reflexively squeezing the belt and the arch of his back.

"Jack," Paul whispered before he leaned over to kiss him deeply. Jack cried out against Paul's lips, the kiss pushing him over. Paul looked down and watched Jack pulse over his hand and across his stomach, a wash of liquid. He groaned at the inexorable clench of Jack's muscles around him and came with a strangled cry himself.

"Shit," Jack moaned as he trembled and shook underneath of Paul. "Untie me."

Paul pushed himself up on his elbows and undid the clasp on the belt with shaky hands, releasing Jack's arms. Jack wrapped his arms around Paul, holding him close, desperate. He let out a quiet moan of pain at the pull on sore muscles. Paul shifted, pulling out of Jack and curling against him, letting the larger man hold him despite how helpless it made him feel. Jack needed it, always did after sex.

"Thanks," Jack said softly when the trembling and shaking stopped. The room grew cool as the sweat dried on their bodies. Paul tilted his head up and kissed Jack lightly. He pushed himself up and disentangled himself from Jack's arms and legs. One more quick kiss and he got out of the bed, heading to the bathroom for a warm washcloth.

Jack was asleep when he got back, snoring softly, his face relaxed in sleep. With a smile, Paul cleaned Jack off, wiping away sweat and come. He tossed the washcloth towards his laundry and covered Jack up.

Paul pulled a bathrobe around himself and headed into the kitchen to make himself some food. He had missed dinner earlier and sex with Jack always burned a lot of calories.

"Evening," Daniel said from his perch on the kitchen counter. Paul jumped, staring at him in surprise. Daniel smirked and hopped off the counter. "Just thought I would say hi."

"It's not nice to scare me," Paul said, walking over to the refrigerator and peering inside. "At least push something off a counter to make your presence known."

"I can't."

"You can't?"

"I can't."

Paul rolled his eyes, looking at the paltry choice of food. At least there was Jack's beer. He could get drunk while attempting to have a conversation with Daniel. That might help.

"And pray tell why can't you warn me?" asked Paul, taking out a beer and twisting the cap off. He leaned against the counter and looked at Daniel. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that this was really, really weird. He was talking to his dead - not dead but ascended whatever that meant - lover in his kitchen after fucking their mutual bed partner.

"I can't touch anything," Daniel reached for the beer to show Paul how his hand passed right through it. "See."

"Why do you always visit after sex?" asked Paul.

"Well," Daniel said, sitting down on the kitchen table. Paul opened his mouth to say something but Daniel held up a finger. "It takes a lot of concentration not to fall through the table. And I don't always visit after sex. I came to see how your project went. I had no way of knowing that Jack was going to be tied to your bed when I got here."

"I've had you tied to my bed enough," Paul smiled sweetly. "You should have guessed that Jack would be there."

"Ouch," Daniel matched his sweet smile. "Bitter party of one."

"Oh, new quips. So that's what happens when you move to a higher plane of existence."

"No, this is what happens after you spend too much time with Jack. It'll happen to you soon enough, Paul."

Paul rolled the beer bottle between his hands, "He won't stay long enough for that."

"How is he?" asked Daniel, looking towards the bedroom.

"Fine," Paul said shortly. "So am I. Thanks for asking."

"I know you're fine," Daniel looked back at him. "You're always fine. That's why I brought him to you so long ago. He needs someone who can be strong for him so he doesn't always have to be."

"Were you planning on leaving him alone then?" asked Paul. "Were you planning on leaving me as well?"

"I had no plans to leave either of you. Our jobs were dangerous. There was no telling when something would happen. By bringing you and Jack together as well, that left all of us with someone if something happened."

"Bullshit," Paul stepped forward, wishing he could grab Daniel by the collar and exert a little control. Anything to make this a little easier. "You brought him to me because you couldn't give him what he needed."

"Believe what you wish."

"You are such a goddamn pain in the ass," Paul clenched his fist around the beer bottle. "You know that I still can't give him what he needs."

"Neither can I," Daniel said simply. "It's up to you now."

"Gee thanks."

"Does the SGC still have control of the program?" asked Daniel, smartly changing the subject.

"Yes, Thor stepped in and convinced the other leaders that the SGC should remain under Hammond's leadership instead of transferring it to the NID," Paul said, taking a drink of the beer. He made a face. "God, I hate beer."

"You still have that cognac I bought you for Christmas?"

"No. I finished it when I heard you … " Paul waved a hand in Daniel's direction. "Became a glowing cloud."

"At least you still get to see me occasionally," Daniel said softly. "It could be worse. I could be dead."

Paul looked at him for a long time. "It might be better if you were dead. We could all move on then."

"Well," Daniel crossed his arms. "In that case, I'll leave you alone."

Paul blinked and Daniel was gone. He groaned and banged his forehead against the refrigerator a few times. That was not what he meant to have happen.

* * *

Jack woke up, too warm from the thick down comforter covering his body. He sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he searched for Paul. Finding no trace of him in the bedroom, but hearing faint strains of music from the living room, Jack got out of bed, pulling on a red silk bathrobe and wandering aimlessly towards the living room.

"Hey," Jack said softly, leaning against the doorframe. "You going to come to bed?"

"I couldn't sleep," Paul turned to look at him, smiling slightly. "Why are you up?"

Jack moved to sit next to him, yawning widely. "Don't know. I just woke up and realized you weren't there. Then I heard the music."

"You must have been listening to this recently," Paul said quietly. "It was in the CD player."

"I had it on earlier," Jack admitted. "I was here for awhile before you showed up. Tell me something. Why do you have such a large collection of opera if you don't like it?"

"You like it." Jack smiled softly and took the beer from Paul's hand, taking a long drink. "Do you know the story of Hérodiade?"

"I didn't even know the name of the opera until you said it," Paul said dryly. "Italian isn't my forte."

"It's about a woman named Salome who is in love with John the Baptist," Jack said softly, putting his arm around Paul. "John is in love with her, but another man, Herod also loves Salome. Now, Salome was only in Jerusalem to find her mother who turns out to be Hérodiade who is also the wife of Herod. John makes a habit of insulting Hérodiade and she wants him to be punished. So Herod wants to kill him and other religious figures to start a revolution. John is arrested and Salome declares her love for him, saying she wants to die with him. Hérodiade finds out she's Salome's mother and tells her to keep Salome from killing her. Unfortunately, she finds out John is dead and kills herself instead."

"So it's a nice, uplifting story," Paul said, finally giving in and resting his head on Jack's shoulder. "Let me have my beer back."

"Opera isn't happy," Jack said, handing him the beer.

"Daniel was here tonight," Paul said, closing his eyes. "I saw him after you fell asleep."

"I always would have figured he'd have better things to do than spy on us during sex," Jack shook his head. "I guess he's bored."

"He wanted to find out how things went with the other countries and the Stargate program."

"Ah," Jack took the beer again, finishing it. He leaned forward and put it on the coffee table. "I guess he does have some interest in whether or not we kept control of the 'Gate."

"I told him it would be better if he had just died."

"It's hard to get over him when he shows up out of the blue."

"No," Paul said sharply, turning to look at Jack. "I'm afraid that he'll come back someday and take you away again."

"He can't come back," Jack said reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Tell me something, Jack," Paul looked at him evenly. "If Daniel came back tomorrow and was alive and unascended, would you go back to him?"

"I could ask you the same question," Jack said crossly. "We both were with him."

"But I wouldn't go back to him."

Jack looked at Paul, surprised. "But you love him."

Paul shook his head and got up. With a quick jab of his finger, he turned off the stereo. "I'm going to bed."

"I didn't answer your question," Jack said, getting up as well.

Paul turned to look at him, walking backwards. "Yeah, you did, Jack. Now come to bed. I have to be back at work in a few hours and you've got to get on a plane."

Jack sighed and followed him to the bedroom. Paul was already under the covers when he got there, Jack's side of the bed turned back to invite him in. Jack slid under the covers, wrapping his arms around Paul and closing his eyes.

They would never be normal. They would never be entirely free. They would never be in love with each other. Their world was too insular for that. All they had was the few hours after the front door shut and the surveillance equipment was turned off.

"Good night, Jack," Paul said quietly, relaxing against him. He felt Jack kiss his shoulder lightly and he smiled softly.

"Good night."

  
  
  


 

   
  
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